


Man, We Used to Be Great Friends...

by Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life
Genre: Adoption, Alien Benrey, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - High School, Black Mesa Sucks, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Brotherly Love, Crushes, Dehumanization, Father-Son Relationship, Government Agencies, Growing Up, Kidnapping, Kinda?, Misgendering, Mother-Son Relationship, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Near Drowning, Nonbinary Character, Not A Game AU, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Prophetic Visions, Rating May Change, Reunions, Science Experiments, Sleepovers, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Unethical Experimentation, Vomiting, but not necessarily in a bad way?, but not with malicious intent, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28803243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat/pseuds/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat
Summary: Benny knew three things about the kid down the street from the moment he met him.1) He's a boy2) His name is Gordon3) They're going to get married somedayThe problem is, they don't have the time to build up to romance. Being whisked away by the government at the age of eight doesn't leave for a lot of time for romantic endeavors. And being experimented on certainly doesn't help. But with the help of the G-Man that he was told he was supposed to avoid, and a weird high school education, Benny might get his wedding yet.If he doesn't accidentally kill Gordon first.
Relationships: Benrey & Bubby (Half-Life), Benrey & Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Benrey & Forzen (Half-Life), Benrey & Original Character(s), Benrey & The G-Man (Half-Life), Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Tommy Coolatta & The G-Man, Tommy Coolatta/Darnold
Comments: 60
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Specimen B-xrn1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28780254) by [Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat/pseuds/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat). 



> Oh gosh golly gee... this fic is a sort of expanding on a fic that I've already posted, so... go to that if you want some spoilers. I'm certainly not the first person to play around with the idea of Benrey telling the truth about him and Gordon being best friends when they were younger, but I think I'll still have fun with it, and hopefully be original with it too!  
> I do wanna say, Gordon is misgendered a little in this chapter, but it's because he hasn't come out/doesn't know he's trans yet, not because anyone is being transphobic.  
> I hope you enjoy this first chapter!

“Benny!”

Benny looked up from his small friend to see his much bigger friend running down the street towards him. He grinned and waved, and his friend threw his backpack on the ground as he approached the river instead of waving back. “hey,” Benny finally said, sounding much more monotone than his grin would suggest.

His friend didn’t mind though. He never did.

“Whoa! What’s that?” He asked, pointing to Benny’s new, much smaller, friend.

“oh,” Benny said, turning back to his new friend. It hissed loudly at him, but he just pat it’s head gently. “frog, i think. maybe toad.”

“It’s a frog!” Benny’s friend said. He leaned down to try and get a better look at it. “Toads like to be in dryer places, and their skin is all covered in warts.”

“oh,” Benny replied. “cool.” He looked over at his friend, who grinned at him. “hey, are you ready to go swimming yet?” He asked.

His friend’s grin dropped. “No,” he said, “I’m sorry. My mom said I still can’t.” He kicked at the dirt on the edge of the river, and a small cloud came up. “Maybe next time!” 

Benny blew a raspberry. “you say that every time,” he said. Still, he climbed out of the shallow water he was standing in, patting his little friend on the head gently before he did. “did you want to go to the park stuff again?”

“The playground?” Benny’s friend asked. Benny nodded. “Sure! I think the big kids might be there again today, but as long as we avoid them, we’ll be fine!”

Benny scowled, but he nodded. He didn’t like the big kids. They liked to make fun of his friend, and it made him angry, and he didn’t like being angry. It made him feel all weird, like his body was all pent up to do something. He still followed his friend as he walked back up the hill that the river was nestled behind. Benny grabbed his socks and shoes as he went, but didn’t put them on yet. He hated wearing wet socks. He followed his friend as he walked across the street, and Benny knew that he had looked both ways before he had started to cross it. Not that it mattered, Benny knew that it was safe. He could just tell sometimes, when something wasn’t safe. It was like when he was angry, it felt all weird. He’d stopped caring about feeling weird a long time ago, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

“I told you…” Benny’s friend said. He was standing on the edge of the playground, and pointed towards the swings on the other side. There was a group of older kids swinging and being generally loud and rambunctious. It made Benny’s ears hurt, but he didn’t say anything. Even his friend didn’t think they were too loud, and he got upset with loud sounds too. “Well… I guess we can avoid them. Or you could come back to my place!” Benny’s friend said with a grin.

“we’ll avoid them,” Benny decided. His friend deflated slightly, but he was skipping towards the playground a second later. Benny couldn’t go to his house just like he couldn’t go swimming. His parents didn’t like it when he would go to other peoples’ houses. His moms didn’t want anyone to find out about what he was. “are you going on the static slide?” Benny asked.

“Yeah! It’s the best one!” His friend said. He stepped up the stairs, only tripping slightly when his skirt got caught under his foot, and made his way to the top of the structure. “Watch!” Benny gave him a thumbs up to show that he was watching, before his friend went down the slide. It was a large plastic tube, so Benny couldn’t see his friend, although he did see a darker spot where the dim light that filtered through the plastic was blocked by his friend’s body. He toppled out of the slide, giggling loudly as he did. Several strands of his hair were sticking up or outwards from the static of the slide, and as much as Benny hated it on his own head, it looked cute on his friend. “Ta-dah!” His friend said, holding his arms out.

Benny clapped quietly, and his friend took a couple bows, still giggling. “are you gonna keep doing it?” Benny asked.

“Yeah!” His friend replied. “You should come with! There’s other slides up here, you know!”

Benny shook his head. “no thanks,” he said. “can i look over your books?”

“If you want,” his friend said with a shrug. “You can do my homework too, if you really want to!”

Benny nodded and grabbed his friend’s backpack as he raced up the play structure again. He zipped it open and pulled out the homework folder. He looked over the new stuff and smiled when he realized that it was science. Benny liked science, especially biology. His mama had been teaching it to him recently, and it was his favorite thing she had taught him so far. Animals were cool, and cells were cool, and everything was cool. We wouldn’t he love it? 

His friend’s science book was thick and heavy, the cover nice and hard. Benny rapped his index finger’s knuckle against it, liking the feeling and the sound. He opened the book to the chapter that was writing at the top of the worksheet, and started reading over it. His friend was learning about the Scientific Method… again. As far as Benny could tell, the kids in normal school had to relearn it every year, and he thought it was stupid. It wasn’t hard to remember! Did they think his friend was stupid? Still, Benny started filling out the sheet, using his best impression of his friend’s handwriting, which was pretty good by now. He didn’t want to get his friend in trouble for cheating, but he didn’t want his friend to have to do the same boring worksheet every year. He was just finishing up the first side when he glanced up and saw that the older kids were coming over to his friend. He sat upright, stiff as a board, and watched them carefully.

“Hey there, you little freaks!” One of them shouted. Benny’s friend jumped up off the ground from what must have been his hundredth time going down the slide. He looked around, trying to find the best direction to run in, but the big kids were cornering him quickly. Benny stood up, but he was still trapped by the picnic table, and a big kid came over to make sure that he didn’t move. “How’re you guys doing?”

“U-um…” Benny’s friend mumbled, “we’re… we’re okay…”

“Aw, weren’t you having fun?” The big kid asked, tone mocking. “You seemed pretty excited to go down the slide over and over. Are you really that hopeless?” Benny’s friend whimpered, and Benny felt himself getting angry. He balled his fists tightly, but still didn’t move. “You can’t make any friends except the little weirdo from down the street. His parents don’t even love him enough to let him leave the house.” 

“Leave him alone!” Benny’s friend yelled. He shoved the big kid, but it didn’t do anything. The big kid just shoved him back, and he yelped when his back dug into the slide behind him.

Benny moved faster than he knew he could. He ducked under the picnic table, and zipped out the other side. The big kid beside him only had the chance to shout in confusion before Benny’s teeth clamped around the other big kid’s forearm. He screamed and lifted his arm up. Benny just grabbed it and went up with it, already locking his teeth into place so the kid couldn’t shake him off. There was a lot of shouting, words that blurred away in Benny’s anger. He heard his friend laughing, and it made him smile, which unlocked his jaw enough for the big kid to shake him off. He fell on his butt, but it didn’t matter. The big kid he had bitten was clutching at his arm, and Benny could tell he was bleeding. He was crying around it, but it was just a couple pinpricks. Benny only knew because he could smell blood. Still, the big kid’s hoodie was totally ruined now, and that was satisfying enough. “leave us alone, or i’ll do it again,” he growled. The big kids just nodded before they ran away.

Benny’s friend laughed as he sat on the lip of the slide, his head ducked so he could fit it under the top layer. “You’re so cool!” He said. Benny just smiled and nodded. “I didn’t know people could bite like that!”

“i’m special,” Benny replied. 

HIs friend nodded. “Yeah… you really are,” he said, and his voice was so warm that it made Benny’s face heat up.

“are you gonna keep sliding?” He asked.

“No! The swings are open now! We’ve gotta go swing!” His friend shouted. He grabbed Benny’s wrist, and started to drag him. Benny just barely had time to grab his friend’s school stuff before they were racing across the field to get to the swings. His friend let go of him to hop onto one of the swings and started kicking. Benny carefully set his friend’s school stuff down in the pebbles, before he walked over to the swings as well. He sat on one and began to rock back and forth slightly. “C’mon, Benny! You’ve gotta get really high! Then you can be an astronaut!” His friend was already swinging several feet above the ground, so Benny tried to copy the way his legs moved.

Benny didn’t really like swinging. He couldn’t figure out how to move his legs to get the swing to go higher. He didn’t even like going too high, so he just thought the whole thing was pointless. Still, his friend wanted to swing and be astronauts, so he’d do it. He set his feet on the ground and walked backwards as far as he could, before he tried to push off the ground to get higher. It didn’t work, and he ended up swinging with one side more forward than the other. He tried to adjust it without stopping the momentum, but when they didn’t work he jumped off the swing, and turned to push it hard. He scowled as he went to sit in the pebbles next to his friend’s backpack, turning his back to his swinging friend and the swing he’d rocketed around the upper bar.

He heard his friend’s feet skidding against the pebbles as he tried to stop the swing, and he suddenly felt bad. He didn’t want to ruin his friend’s trip to space just because he couldn’t swing. Still, when his friend sat beside him and carefully took his hand, he felt a little better. “I’m sorry,” his friend said. “I know you don’t like to swing. We don’t have to do it anymore.”

“you can swing,” Benny said.

“It’s no fun without you!” His friend said. He jumped to his feet and helped Benny up as he went, although he was sure to be gentle. “C’mon! We can play tag!”

Benny smiled and used his free hand to (gently) slap his friend on the shoulder. “you’re it,” he said, before he raced away.

“Not fair!” His friend complained. He just laughed loudly, and he heard his friend giggle as he chased him.

They were muddy and dusty by the time Benny’s friend had to go home, but neither of them minded. His friend did whine about his mom being upset when he got dirty, but it was only a little, and they both knew that his mom didn’t mind all that much. Benny waved to his friend from the fence on the outside of his yard, and his friend waved back from the porch. Benny waited until his friend had closed the door and waved again from the window before he started down the street for his own house. He opened the door on his own, and set down his shoes by the door since he’d never put them back on. “Mama?” He called into the house. “i’m home!”

“I’m in the kitchen, dear!” His mama called back. He raced through the house and collided with her legs to hug them tightly. She laughed and scooped him up. “I told you, dear, be more careful when I’m in the kitchen! I could get hurt!”

Benny nodded, and kissed her cheek. “sorry,” he said. She just shook her head fondly and put him back down. “should i take a bath before dinner?”

“Only if you want to,” his mama replied. “Although you’ll definitely have to wash your hands, and your face.” Benny nodded, before he raced up the stairs in their house on all fours. His mama laughed, even though he did it backwards, and at an angle that human legs didn’t bend. “Slow down, sweetheart!” She called after him. “You might fall down the stairs!”

Benny nodded even though she couldn’t see him when he got up into the bathroom. He stepped up onto the stepladder that his mom had gotten for him and washed his hands, using the smelly soap that he liked, and humming the “Happy Birthday” song twice. He dried them off on the hand towel hanging next to the sink. Next, he grabbed a washcloth from under the sink and scrubbed at his face. He’d been taught how to do that right too, but he decided to just get it wet today. He was too excited for dinner to get it warm and soapy. He hopped off his stepladder and walked out into the hall. He stood on the top of the stairs and listened. He heard another voice besides his mama now, and he grinned when he realized who it was. He snuck down the stairs, almost silently, and peeked around the corner of them into the kitchen. His mama and mom were standing in the room, whispering to each other. He could hear their exact words, but he wasn’t paying attention. Instead, he focused on sneaking up on the two of them. He got as close as the kitchen door before his mom turned quickly and raised her arms above her head. Benny shrieked and turned to run towards the living room. He heard his mama laughing in the kitchen as he ran from his mom.

“You thought you could get me, squirt?” She yelled as she chased him. He just laughed and sped up. He never ran faster than she could catch him, though, and she scooped him up on his second run around the downstairs. He squealed as she blew a raspberry on his cheek. “Silly Benny, your mom’s always going to know when you’re coming!”

“but i was so quiet!” Benny said. He struggled gently in his mom’s grip, and she set him down. “do you have eyes in the back of your head? my friend down the street says that his mom and his teacher have them.”

“Do you mean the Freeman kid?” His mom asked as she put him down. “Isn’t she a girl?”

“no,” Benny said matter-of-factly. “he’s a boy. he just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Benny, you don’t really get to decide that for people,” his mama said. “If she decides she wants to be a boy later, then she will be, but you don’t know that yet.”

Benny pouted and crossed his arms. “but i do know!” He said as he followed his mom into the kitchen. She handed him a bunch of silverware, and he carried it into the dining room. “he’s a boy, and his name is Gordon, and he and i are gonna get married.” His moms started giggling in the kitchen, so he turned to look at them. “what? it’s true!”

“And how are you so sure, mister?” His mama asked.

“i just am,” Benny replied with a shrug. He slid the silverware onto the table in the right places. “he’s gonna get married to someone else first though. but that’s okay, because they’re going to have a kid named Joshua, and he’ll be really cool and fun.” Benny was quiet for a moment, thinking. “he’ll like cowboys,” he finally said. His moms had gone quiet in the kitchen, and he turned to look at them. They were whispering to each other again, and this time he actually stopped to listen.

“Do you think he’s making it true?” His mama asked his mom. “I mean, we should discourage him if he is. I love him, but he shouldn’t be changing the future.”

“He hasn’t done it before,” his mom replied. “It’s like that time he refused to get in the car because he was sure there would be an accident, and then there was a huge pile up.” His mama nodded, but she was still biting her lip. “It’ll be fine, Maria. He’s not doing anything wrong.”

“was i bad?” Benny asked. His moms jumped and turned to him. He felt like crying, but he didn’t know why. “are you going to eat me?” He’d been afraid of being eaten as long as he could remember.

“No, Benny, we’re not going to eat you,” his mama said. She walked to him and knelt down to hug him. “We’ll never eat you. We love you very much and we’re going to keep you safe.” Benny squeezed his mama tightly, and she squeezed back. “The only thing we’re eating tonight is spaghetti. And maybe some ice cream later, if you finish a whole plate.” She winked at him when she moved away, and he was grinning again.

“what flavor?” he asked as he followed her into the kitchen. His mom ruffled his hair as she handed him a couple glasses, and he made sure he was very careful with them.

“Vanilla. But! I bought the good chocolate syrup and the fun sprinkles!” His mama replied. 

Benny cheered and accidentally dropped a cup. It didn’t break, so he picked it up and blew on it to try and get the germs off. His mom laughed and took over setting the table from there.

* * *

Benny curled up next to his mom as he watched the movie she had put on. He was feeling sleepy even though it was one of his favorite movies. His mama came back into the living room to sit beside him, since she’d gone to rinse out their ice cream bowls. Benny had completely covered his in chocolate syrup and had dumped a whole mountain of sprinkles on it, but his moms knew that it was okay for him to have that much sugar, even if normal children shouldn’t. He’d changed into his pajamas a little while ago, and now he was half asleep, leaning against his mom’s hip.

“Benny?” His mom asked quietly. He hummed instead of answering, and smiled at the skeleton and ragdoll hugging on screen. “Do you like it here?”

“yeah,” he replied sleepily. “it’s fun. i like the river.”

“How would you feel if… if we moved?” His mom asked.

He sat upright, suddenly very awake. “why would we?” He asked. “it’s perfect here!” 

“It is very nice here,” his mama agreed, “but it’s starting to get dangerous.”

“what do you mean?” Benny asked.

“I saw a man in a suit at the building across the street from work yesterday,” his mom said. “He wasn’t a normal man in a suit either. I think it was a g man.”

Benny swallowed, and his mama began to run a hand up and down his back. “did he see you?” He asked.

“No, but he was talking to one of my coworkers,” his mom replied. She was trying to stay calm, but Benny could tell that she was scared. “We just want to be careful, Benny. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Benny nodded, and suddenly all the ice cream in his tummy didn’t feel good anymore. “um… where did you want to move?” He asked. “far away?”

“Very far away,” his mama said. “We were thinking New England. You’ll like it there, Benny! There’s big beaches, and they aren’t hot ones either. In fact, it’s never too hot there!”

Benny nodded again. He knew his mama was trying to make him feel better, but he didn’t think he could feel better. “what about Gordon?” He asked. “how are we supposed to get married if i move all the way to New England?”

His mom chuckled and pulled him closer to her. “You remember the story of how Mama and I met, don’t you?” She asked.

“yeah,” Benny replied. “you saw her at a bar, and you guys had fun all night, but you found out she was only there for one semester of college, so you told her your address. and then you wrote letters for years and years until Mama moved here, and then you got married, and then you found me, and now we live happily ever after.”

“Exactly,” his mama said. She booped his nose, and he giggled. “You and the Freeman kid will be just like that! You can tell… him your new address and you can write letters everyday! Maybe we can even get you your own phone so you can call him whenever you want!”

Benny smiled and nodded. “okay,” he said. “plus, that way when Gordon and i see each other again, we can run at each other and hug like they do in movies!”

“Exactly!” His mom said. She scooped him up and blew raspberries on his cheek again. He shrieked in laughter and flailed his arms until she stopped. “We love you very much, Benny. We just want you to be safe.”

“i know, Mom,” Benny said. “i want you to be safe too.” He kissed his mom’s cheek. “i love you to my planet and back.”

“We love you to your planet and back too,” his mama said.

Benny couldn’t sleep for a long time that night. Even if he knew that he and Gordon would still get married someday, it still made him sad to think about them being apart for a long time. But his moms had always made it clear to him that he was supposed to avoid g men and other government people as much as possible. They didn’t like that he was an alien, and they’d take him away from his moms and he’d never see them again. It used to scare him, but now he knew that his moms would protect him no matter what, and he knew that he’d do the same for them. He heard his moms coming upstairs, and he listened as they talked about moving after they’d laid down in bed. His mom wanted to go to New Jersey, and his mama chuckled and said that she’d never get her there. They laughed about that for a while, before they got quiet. It wasn’t sleeping quiet, it was sad quiet. Benny carefully slid out of bed and grabbed his teddy bear with three eyes and two tails. He padded down the hall to his moms’ room, and he climbed into bed with them. His mama helped him up and then put him between the two of them. The three of them cuddled until Benny’s moms fell asleep.

He lay in their bed for another half hour, staring at the ceiling. If he thought really hard, he could see the stars above them. He started counting them silently, and soon he fell asleep, wrapped up in his moms’ blankets with them both holding him gently.


	2. Chapter 2

“So… you’re moving?” Benny’s friend asked. He looked sad, and it made Benny feel funny in his chest.

“probably,” he replied. “i don’t know for sure.” He’d waited a couple days to tell his friend that he was moving, since his moms were still unsure about it. But he’d woken up that morning to his mama packing up pictures, so he thought he should tell his friend. He knew they were moving, but he didn’t want to tell his friend just yet. “we’re probably going to Maine.”

“Maine?!?” His friend asked. “That’s all the way across the country!”

“hey, don’t get mad at me,” Benny said. He made a loud noise, something similar to an engine. “i don’t want to move. i like it here.”

“I don’t want you to move either!” His friend said. “It’s not fair!” Benny just nodded and went back to drawing designs in the sand with a stick. He didn’t want to think about moving anymore. He didn’t like the idea. He drew a small group of circles, and, finding the movement of his wrist soothing, he just kept doing that. “What’re you drawing?” His friend leaned over to look, sticking his hand in the sand between them so he was practically leaning against Benny’s shoulder.

Benny tried not to blush from how close they were. “i ‘unno,” he said, “it just feels nice.”

“Maybe you could draw snowmen!” His friend said. “I wish we could actually make a snowman…”

“we could make a sandman,” Benny said. “like… not the weird guy that’s supposed to make you sleep, but a snowman but made out of sand.”

“Hey… yeah!” Benny’s friend said. He hopped to his feet and pointed upwards. “We’ve gotta do as much stuff as we can before you move! First we can make a sandman, then we can climb the biggest tree in the neighborhood, and then I’ll go swimming with you! Even if my mom says I can’t!”

“really?” Benny asked. He was sure that he had stars in his eyes, and they must have gotten even bigger when his friend grinned at him.

“Yeah! I wanna go swimming with you before you move away! It’s only fair, anyways. You always go on the swings with me,” he said.

“it’s cuz i like you,” Benny said. He felt his face get hotter, and his friend grinned wider like he was trying to hide his own blush.

“I like you too!” He said. “Now c’mon! We’ve got so much we’ve gotta do before you go!”

Fifteen minutes later the two of them had built a sandman that almost reached Benny’s knee. A pretty impressive size for a sandman, especially since they were working with the tiny amounts of sand next to a river that was mostly surrounded by rocks. Benny’s friend kept coming up with things for them to do before Benny moved, but he wished that he wouldn’t. He didn’t like to think about moving away from his friend. From Gordon. Benny wanted to be there when he decided that he did want his name to be Gordon, and he wanted to be there when Joshua was born, even if he wasn’t the other dad. He didn’t know how long it would be until the two of them got married, but he didn’t like to think about it being a long way off. He wanted it to be soon, especially when his friend would grin at him and make his face get warm.

Benny suddenly perked his head up. Something was coming.

“-and then we can… Benny?” His friend seemed to have noticed that he was standing straight up and stiff as a board. “Is everything okay?”

Something bad was coming. And it was coming fast.

Benny didn’t risk wasting time by explaining, so he grabbed his friend’s hand and started running. His friend tripped over his own feet at first, but he followed Benny quickly. He knew that sometimes Benny would know things, and he knew that they were usually bad things. Benny dragged him through his front yard, and his friend didn’t say anything about his mom needing to know when he went to his friends’ houses. Benny threw the door open and dragged his friend inside, then turned to slam the door shut and lock it. 

“Benny?” His mama called from upstairs. “Is that you?”

“something’s coming, Mama,” he called back. “something bad is coming.” His friend whimpered in fear, and he squeezed his hand. “we have to hide.”

Benny’s mama was rushing down the stairs a second later. “Go lock the backdoor, quickly,” she said. She started drawing the curtains while Benny raced to the back of the house to lock the backdoor. He heard his mama ask his friend to start turning all the lights off, and he said, very quietly, that he would. Benny pulled on the chain that closed the blinds on the backdoor too, and then started doing his best to draw the curtains in the dining room. His mama came in to do it for him a moment later. “Go help your friend calm down, dear,” she said.

Benny nodded and went back into the living room. His friend was sitting on the couch, his legs curled up against his chest. Benny sat next to him, making sure that he knew he was going to. His friend set his hand in between them, palm up, and Benny took it, even though it was still covered in sand. “it’s gonna be okay,” he said. He squeezed his friend’s hand gently. “everything’s gonna be okay.”

“Promise?” His friend whispered.

“pinky promise,” Benny said.

“Y-you know that… that some people say that, a long time ago, people would have to cut off their pinky if they broke a pinky promise,” his friend said. “I don’t want to make you cut off your pinky.”

“i won’t have to,” Benny said. “it’s gonna be okay.” He held his pinky out, and his friend hooked their pinkies carefully. 

“Are you two alright?” Benny’s mama asked as she came back into the living room. They both nodded, and she sat beside Benny. “Did you see anything, Benny?”

“no,” he answered, “i could just tell that something was coming.” He leaned against his mama, but only for a moment before he was sitting stiff as a board again. “it’s outside,” he whispered.

All three of them held their breath and did their best to not move. They listened for anything in the front yard, or for anyone on the porch, or for someone walking by. The only sound was a car driving by, very slowly. It stopped in front of the house, and Benny squeezed his friend’s hand tighter. A car door slammed as someone got out of the car, but there were no footsteps on the porch. After a while, the car door slammed again as someone got back in, and the car moved on. Benny stopped sitting so rigidly, but he still didn’t move. His friend went to say something, but he held a finger over his mouth to hush him. The car went by again a few minutes later, still going slowly. No one got out this time, and when it disappeared around the corner of the street, Benny relaxed.

“it’s safe now,” he said. He carefully stood up and went to peek through the curtains. His friend and his mama were right behind him, so he felt extra safe. He looked down at the riverbank, and saw that whoever had been in the car had knocked over him and his friend’s sandman. “i think they took some of the sand by the river,” he said.

“Why would they do that?” His friend asked. 

“Were you playing in it?” Benny’s mama asked. Benny nodded. She frowned and went to grab one of the boxes that was sitting in the hallway. “Benny, start packing your things. We’re moving sooner than we thought.”

“but Mama-!”

“No buts! We need to get ready,” she said. She turned to Benny’s friend, who looked like he was about to cry. “You can go home now, dear. I’m sorry you had to be here for this.”

“I want to help Benny pack,” Benny’s friend said. Benny and his mama were surprised, but his friend continued before either of them could say anything. “He might need help reaching stuff! I’m taller than him, after all.”

Benny’s mama glanced between the two of them, and she smiled ever so slightly. “Alright,” she said, “but if your mom comes over to ask where you are, you have to go straight home.”

“I will!” Benny’s friend said. He grabbed Benny’s hand that wasn’t holding the box and went upstairs with him. He opened the door to Benny’s room, and then closed it behind them. “What the heck was that?!?” He whisper shouted.

“i don’t know,” Benny lied. He started picking up his toys that were on the floor. “something bad,” he said, more honestly.

“What kind of bad thing?” His friend asked. Benny shrugged instead of answering and threw a Hot Wheel into the box. “Benny! What’s going on?!?” 

His friend sounded like he might start crying, and it made Benny’s chest hurt funny. “some bad guys are coming after me,” he said. “they think i’m bad and evil. i’m not.”

“I know you’re not,” his friend said, almost immediately. He started helping Benny gather up his Hot Wheels. “Why do they think that?”

“i ‘unno,” Benny replied. It was because he was from a different planet, but he couldn’t tell his friend that. His friend might tell his own mom, and then Benny would be turned in immediately. “i just know they don’t like me, so my family has to move away before they figure out where i am. they know i’m here somewhere, but they don’t know where.”

“Are you a spy?” His friend whispered. Benny looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was serious. “You can tell me if you’re a spy. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” Benny just started picking up more cars. “What about your moms? Are either of them spies?” Benny didn’t answer. “Okay, fine, don’t talk to me,” his friend huffed.

“okay,” Benny replied. His friend stared at him for a second, before he went and sat on Benny’s bed. Benny just kept picking up his cars and did his best to ignore him. It worked for about five minutes, before Benny heard some quiet sniffling. He stood up quickly and rushed over to his bed. “why’re you crying? it’s okay. i’m not mad at you. i’m sorry if i made you mad.” He wanted to ask his friend if he was going to eat him, but he didn’t want to be any more weird than he was already being today. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I just don’t want you to leave,” his friend whispered. He sniffed against and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Benny grabbed his tissues from his nightstand and handed them to his friend. It was too late to save his shirt, but they didn’t have to make it worse. “You’re my best friend, Benny. I feel like you’re my only friend, sometimes. None of the other girls at school are any fun, and the boys don’t like to play with me anymore, especially now that Dad makes me wear skirts and dresses all the time.”

“bite him,” Benny suggested, not for the first time. His friend giggled, but he didn’t stop crying. “i’m sorry, Gordon. i don’t want to leave either. i promise i’ll come find you again when we’re both grown ups, and then we can be best friends again. and you can write me letters everyday, and i’ll write you one back.”

His friend nodded and hugged him tightly. Benny hugged back and gripped his shirt hard. The tiniest claws dug into his friend’s shirt, but they wouldn’t tear, so it was okay. His friend let go after a couple minutes and blew his nose. “What did you call me?” He asked after he was done.

Benny felt frozen for a moment, and tried to come up with some sort of lie. But he wasn’t the best at lying, so he just told the truth. “Gordon,” he said. “that’s gonna be your name someday. and you’ll like it a lot more, and you’ll be a lot happier when you have it.”

Gordon stared at Benny for a moment, before he nodded slowly. “Well… I don’t understand, but if you want to call me Gordon, you can. It can be my codename. Because you’re totally a spy.” Gordon smiled gently, and Benny felt like his heart was going to explode.

“yeah… okay,” he said. “it’s your codename.” Gordon would figure out that it was his real name eventually, but for now a codename was good too. “i think our first mission as partners is to pack up my room. Mama gave us the order, so it’s very important.” Benny tried to remember what he’d seen from spy movies so this wouldn’t be so sad anymore.

“Let’s hurry then!” Gordon said as he jumped off of Benny’s bed. “I bet we can be done by the time my mom comes to see if I’m here!”

* * *

Benny sat on the floor in front of the couch, hunched over a plastic bin. His mom was running her fingers through his hair gently, and he stared down at the puke in the bin. He felt like he had more in him, but he tried to fight it off. His mama had just come back into the room when his stomach revolted again, and he hurled. “Oh, sweetheart…” his mom whispered.

“‘m sorry,” he whispered. “i’m not trying to.”

“We know, dear,” his mama said. She handed him the plastic bin she had just cleaned and took the other one from him. “It’ll be alright, it’ll be over soon.”

Benny nodded, before he threw up again, almost missing the bin this time. He spat into the bin, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. “mom,” he whispered, “am i going to die?”

“No, sweetheart, you’re not going to die,” his mom replied. She gently scratched at his scalp. “It’s just some vomit, it won’t kill you. You probably aren’t even sick, it’s probably just anxiety.”

“no, i mean… when they get me,” Benny clarified. “will they kill me?”

His mom sat completely still for a moment, before she slid off the couch to sit beside him and pull him into her lap. “They’re not going to get you,” she said, her voice firm. “We won’t let them.”

“but what if-”

“We won’t let them,” his mom said again. “We’ll keep you safe, Benjamin. Always.”

Benny nodded. He didn’t feel like throwing up anymore, so he turned to press his face into his mom’s chest. He sobbed quietly, and she stroked his hair again. She kissed the top of his head, and he heard his mama come back into the room. He whimpered when she rubbed his back gently. She was gone again a moment later, and Benny knew that she was going to clean up the last of his vomit. His mom squeezed him gently, and he clutched her shirt tightly. “mom?” He asked.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“will you always love me? no matter what?”

His mom squeezed him again. “Of course, Benjamin,” she said. “No matter what happens, or what you do, I’ll always love you. And your mama will too. We’ll love you forever and ever.”

“to my planet and back?” Benny asked.

“Of course, dear,” his mama said from the doorway. She sat beside his mom, and reached over to rub his back. “We love you to the next galaxy and back.”

“Maybe even the whole universe,” his mom said.

“isn’t the universe always getting bigger?” Benny asked.

“Well, that’s not an issue,” his mama said. “We love you more and more everyday.”

“i love you too,” Benny said. He sniffed and buried his face in his mom’s neck. “i love you so much. i’m sorry. i don’t want you to get in trouble, i’m so sorry.”

Both of his moms shushed him. His mama kept rubbing his back and his mom bounced him slightly as he broke down in tears. He kept mumbling apologies, and his moms kept whispering that it was alright. He felt more and more tired every second even though he hadn’t even had dinner yet. He was half asleep when his mom stood up, and it didn’t even bother him. His head rested against her shoulder as she carried him upstairs. He was set in his bed, and his stuffed bear was pressed into his hands, so he curled up around it protectively.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, sweetheart,” his mom whispered. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to your mama and I. And nothing will ever change that, ever. We love you more than anything in the universe. Never ever forget that, okay?”

“‘kay,” he whispered back, almost asleep. He felt two kisses pressed against his forehead, and he knew that he’d gotten one from both of his moms. He fell asleep, not hearing their concerned words outside his door and too tired to care, even if he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to leave Gordon nameless for all the scenes with him before canon, but that was getting hard to write and just generally confusing, so he's Gordon now, even if he doesn't fully know it oafnsdoaifn


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, it's been a bit! I'm happy to get back to this fic though! Sorry if this chapter is a little weird, I started it a while back when I was still updating this frequently and finished it up today... I like how it came out though, even if it's a little short and a little weird (and was meant to be filler from the beginning ofnaosdfn). The next chapter is gonna be real juicy though, so I hope you're ready >:3

Benny’s room was half packed when the doorbell rang. He looked up at the clock still hanging on his wall, and trotted out into the hallway. He carefully made his way downstairs and glanced at the door that he could just barely see. His mom was at the door, talking to someone. He decided not to listen in, not wanting to be rude. He did come all the way down the stairs to stand next to his mom but out of sight of the person in the doorway. She turned to him and smiled. “He’s here right now!” She said, waving for him to come over. He carefully stepped over beside her, and smiled at the people outside. 

Well, he was only smiling at Gordon, but neither of their moms needed to know that.

“hi, mrs. freeman,” he said. He didn’t address his friend by name, but did wave shyly at him. Gordon waved back enthusiastically. “um… why are you here at eight at night?”

“I wanted to have a sleepover!” Gordon said. “We’ve gotta have one before you move away!” Sure enough, he had a backpack slung over his shoulder, and was carrying a sleeping bag. “Your mom said it was okay, but my mom wants to talk to you first.”

Mrs. Freeman nodded, and she didn’t look pleased. She never looked pleased when Benny was around. “I just want to make sure that there won’t be any funny business going on,” she said.

“i can’t tell jokes?” Benny asked, thoroughly confused.

“Mrs. Freeman… they’re eight,” his mom said. She didn’t sound pleased either.

“Well, I know, but… you can never be too careful!” Mrs. Freeman said. Benny gave Gordon a confused look, and he just shrugged. “I just want to be sure she’ll be alright!”

“Mom, I’ll be fine!” Gordon said. “Benny and his moms are the best!”

“it’s true,” Benny said, “my moms would never let anything happen to us.” He didn’t need to convince himself, at least. He wouldn’t be in any _real_ danger for a few days. He just wished he knew what the real danger was.

“We’ll keep her safe Mrs. Freeman,” his mom said. “And you really don’t need to worry about Benny. Because, again, they’re eight.” Mrs. Freeman was definitely blushing now, but she nodded and mumbled something to Benny’s mom. She hugged Gordon tightly, kissed his forehead, whispered something in his ear, and then left. Benny’s mom shook her head as Gordon skipped inside. “Kid, no offense, but your mom is one of the weirdest women I’ve ever met,” she said.

“Yeah, she is,” Gordon said, nodding. “I don’t even know what she was talking about.”

“Good,” Benny’s mom said. She moved further into the house, and Gordon and Benny shrugged at each other before they followed. “We don’t have any ice cream left, buuuut…” Benny’s mom grinned as she stood on her toes to reach the top of the kitchen cabinets. Benny gasped and began to jump up and down and make grabby hands. Gordon didn’t seem to understand, but Benny’s excitement rubbed off of him. Benny’s mom pulled down a tin container, and held it out to Benny. “You may have the Magic Cookie Tin, but only if you don’t get crumbs on your bed! And I will be checking.” She dramatically passed the tin over to Benny, who took a deep bow before grabbing the tin. 

Gordon giggled and raced after Benny as he made a mad dash for the stairs. “Your mom is the coolest!” He said.

“she is!” Benny agreed. He couldn’t help grinning as the two of them raced up the stairs. He almost bumped into his mama, and said a quick apology over his shoulder. She just chuckled and shook her head, before going downstairs to give the two kids some privacy.

Benny set the cookie tin down in the middle of his room, and grinned up at Gordon, who was grinning right back. “now what?” Benny asked. He said it like he was asking Gordon what he wanted to do first, but really he had no idea what people did at sleepovers. He’d never had one before, his moms didn’t want anyone to find out he was an alien. It wasn’t like he’d had many friends to have a sleepover with in the first place, though.

“Um… well, I’ve only been to one other sleepover, and it was… weird,” Gordon said. “It was at Melisa’s house.” Benny stuck his tongue out and Gordon giggled. “Yeah… she’s mean, but she wasn’t too bad when we were little.” Gordon opened the tin and pulled a cookie out. He looked it over, before he took a cautious bite. 

“they’re not peanut butter,” Benny said. Gordon nodded, and devoured the cookie after that. Benny giggled and Gordon stuck his tongue out at Benny after he’d swallowed. “if that sleepover was weird, we don’t have to do that stuff. what do you want to do instead?”

Gordon looked lost in thought for a moment, so Benny grabbed a cookie for himself. They aren’t homemade this time, but his moms always put the cookies in the Magic Cookie Tin. It’s special, because cookies are special. “Well… we always play out by the river, but we can’t do that when it’s dark,” Gordon said. “And… I think all your toys are packed.”

“most of them, yeah,” Benny replied. He glanced around his room. The only things left were his furniture and an old box. He walked over to it and opened it up. “oh. i didn’t know i still had these,” he said.

“What? Let me see!” Gordon said. He gently shoved Benny’s shoulder with his own, and Benny looked away to hide his blush. “You have barbies? I thought only girls could have barbies!”

“why?” Benny asked. “they’re just dolls.”

“Well, yeah, but dolls are for girls!” Gordon said.

“do you like dolls?” Benny asked. He knew that Gordon wasn’t a girl, but Gordon didn’t know that yet.

“No,” Gordon said, sticking his tongue out. “Why play dress up with a bunch of gross dolls?”

“dress up?” Benny asked. “why would you play dress up with them?” He pulled one of his barbies out, and her leg that had come off a long time ago. “i’m running out of ones that i haven’t sacrificed, but we can find one, i bet.”

“Sacrificed?” Gordon asked, sounding bewildered. 

“yeah,” Benny replied. “i threw one in a fire once. and i pulled this one’s leg off and waited til she bled out to get rid of her.” He pulled out another barbie, this one headless. “i decapitated her, but mom said i can’t do that again cuz i cut myself with the scissors on accident.” He dug around in the box until he pulled out a slightly disheveled, but unharmed barbie. “she’ll do,” he said after looking her over for a bit. “you’re the guest so… you get to decide how to do it.” He looked up from the barbie to see Gordon’s delighted expression. 

“Have you drowned one yet?” He asked. Benny grinned, and soon the two of them were racing to the bathroom.

* * *

“So… you went a little overboard, huh?” Benny’s mama asked. She was smirking at him and Gordon, although it didn’t bring either of their moods’ down.

“It was totally worth it!” Gordon said. His skirt was soaked by the time they had cleaned up their mess in the bathroom, so he was in his pajamas now. Apparently sinks can overflow a lot more than either of them thought. “I’ve never gotten to do stuff like that before!”

“never?” Benny asked. Gordon shook his head. “that’s sad…”

“Well, now I can do it with my dolls too! I just didn’t know that I could,” Gordon explained. Benny nodded, and his mama interrupted the two of them.

“Would you two like something to eat? Have you had dinner… um…” 

“Gordon!” Surprisingly, it wasn’t Benny that corrected her. “While I’m here my name is Gordon, since it’s my spy name.” He winked at Benny’s mama, and she chuckled.

“Alright, Gordon, have you had dinner?” She asked.

“Yeah, mom said I had to eat at our house for some reason.” He shrugged, and Benny felt a weird taste in his mouth that he couldn’t explain. “But I can probably have snacks!”

“How about peanut butter crackers?” Benny’s mama asked.

“Gordon’s allergic to peanuts,” Benny said.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t know!” His mama said.

“It’s okay! I didn’t either, til Benny told me!” Gordon replied. “Do you have any fruit?”

Benny’s mama nodded and smiled, but Benny could tell that her smile was strained. He felt anxiety settle in his stomach, but he waited for his mama to say anything before he let it consume him. She pulled him aside after Gordon had run off to the living room, promised a movie by Benny’s mom. “Dear, how much have you been telling Gordon about… things he doesn’t know?”

“just the important stuff,” Benny replied. “i didn’t mean to tell him about his name.”

“What counts as important stuff?” His mama asked. She was holding his wrist, and her grip got tighter. Not enough to hurt, never enough to hurt, but enough that it made Benny more anxious.

“um… about how he’s allergic to peanut butter, and… and how he needs to, um… stay fit,” Benny said.

“Dear, we’ve talked about how beauty standards are bad,” his mama scolded.

“no, that’s not why. Gordon’s perfect no matter how he looks,” Benny said. His mama raised an eyebrow, and he knew she was asking why. “something big is going to happen when we’re older. i don’t know what, but i know that Gordon needs to be ready for it.”

“Benny… are we going to stay together after the government finds you?” His mama asked.

Benny wanted to ask how she knew that they were going to find him, but his mama was smart. Not like he was, but smart. “no…” he whispered.

She pulled him into a tight hug and kissed the top of his head. “Well… we’re still going to try,” she said. “You might be wrong. There’s a first time for everything.” When Benny moved away, his mama was smiling even though there were tears in her eyes. “Now, go play with Gordon. You two should make the most of the time you have left.”

“yes, Mama,” Benny said. He raced to the living room, and he fought back tears. Still, when Gordon grinned at him and his mom put on his favorite movie (which Gordon hadn’t seen before), he couldn’t help feeling like things would be alright.

* * *

“Benny,” a quiet voice said. Benny mumbled something and rolled over, trying to ignore them. “Benny, wake up.” He swatted in the direction of the voice. “Benny, please wake up…” He realized that the voice sounded like it was going to cry, and he quickly sat up. He rubbed at his eyes, and he realized that he was lying on the floor of his living room, a blanket thrown over him. Gordon was sitting up next to him, covered up with the blanket. “I had a nightmare…” he whispered.

“do you want me to get my mom?” Benny asked. “she’s really good at chasing away nightmares.”

“No, please don’t leave!” Gordon said. His form under the blanket scooted closer to Benny, until he was pressed up against his side. Benny blushed, but he ducked under the blanket and hugged Gordon. Gordon leaned against him, and Benny kissed his forehead. It made him giggle, and it made Benny’s face burn even more. “Will you, um… will you sing to me? That’s what my mom does when I have a bad dream.”

“uh… i can try,” Benny said. He opened his mouth and tried to get good notes to come out. The first few sounded weird, almost like clicking, but he cleared his throat and tried again. This time, his voice cooperated and he sang. It wasn’t particularly pretty, he was only eight, but it was a coherent tune, and it was calming. He didn’t sing any particular words, just making sounds. Occasionally, the clicking would start again, but he could train his voice back into singing, and Gordon didn’t seem to mind. Benny sang until Gordon was asleep again, still resting against his chest. “hey, Gordon?” Benny whispered. He didn’t get a response, and he knew he wasn’t going to get one. “you’re my best friend. and we’re gonna get married one day, and you’re gonna be a boy, and you’re gonna be happy. and the two of us are gonna do amazing things, cuz we’re gonna have to face some really dangerous stuff, but we’re gonna be okay. i promise. i won’t let you get hurt.” He swallowed, and kissed the top of Gordon’s head. “i think i love you.”

Benny’s moms found the two of them the next morning curled up under the blanket, fast asleep, with Gordon’s head resting on Benny’s chest. “Come on,” Benny’s mama whispered, “we should make them something good for breakfast. Oh,” she smiled, “and nothing with peanut butter.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you missed the new tags (which is totally understandable, reading new ones every chapter is weird and hard sometimes), a character almost drowns in this chapter. They're okay, don't worry! But, uh... some other juicy stuff happens in this chapter >:3

“Benny!”

Benny looked up from where he was poking at the sand to see Gordon rushing towards him. He was carrying a backpack, but it was different from the one that he carried for school. It was Saturday, after all. What made Benny really excited was the fact that Gordon was wearing his swimsuit. “are you gonna come swimming with me?” He asked.

“Yeah!” Gordon replied. “I told my mom that I was going to play with the kids down the street in their sprinkler, but I’m gonna swim with you instead!”

Benny grinned and looked down at what he was wearing. Normal people weren’t supposed to go swimming in their clothes, but it had never stopped Benny before, and he hadn’t been dragged under yet. He used to wonder if there was a lot of water on his planet, but he stopped thinking about that place a long time ago. “c’mon then!” He said. He carefully stepped into the river, making sure he didn’t slip over the smooth stones. He turned back to the bank, ready to splash Gordon, but he was still standing at the edge of the river, looking nervous. “what’s wrong?” Benny asked.

“W-well… I know it’s going to be okay, since… since you wouldn’t let anything hurt me…” Benny’s heart beat faster and got warmer when Gordon said that, “but I’m still scared…”

“it’s okay, Gordon,” Benny said. He held his hands out for Gordon to take. “just focus on, um… on not slipping. we can go out in the deeper water and actually swim later.”

Gordon nodded, and he took Benny’s hands. They walked over the slick, smooth stones together, Gordon getting more and more confident as they went. Soon, the two of them were standing in the shallow sand of the river, and Benny splashed Gordon. He laughed and splashed Benny back, and soon the two of them were having a small water fight. Gordon got a particularly good splash in, and Benny fell on his back. He let the current of the river carry him for a while, until he heard Gordon shouting. He sounded… strangely far away. Benny righted himself, and realized that he was a good ways away from Gordon, so he quickly swam back. “Benny! Are you okay?!?” Gordon asked, helping him to his feet as soon as he was within arms reach.

“yeah, i’m okay,” Benny replied. “i didn’t realize the current was so strong.”

“Maybe we should get out…” Gordon mumbled.

“as long as we don’t go too far out, we’ll be okay,” Benny told him. Gordon looked hesitant, but when he nodded Benny splashed him again, and he was laughing again. 

They splashed around in the water for a while, but Benny’s eyes turned back towards the shore after a second when he saw some taller people coming over. He was ready to explain to his moms, or to defend Gordon against his mom, but he saw the group of older kids who had made fun of Gordon a month ago when they were on the playground. They were shuffling through Gordon’s backpack, and Benny could’ve sworn he saw red. “hey!” He shouted, already racing out of the river towards them.

“Hey, pipsquick!” One of them said. He stepped in front of the one going through Gordon’s bag, and held his arms out to block Benny from getting to the other kid. “We were just making sure that your girlfriend’s stuff wasn’t stolen, don’t worry.”

“he’s not my girlfriend!” Benny yelled. “and you’re probably just going to steal it for yourself!”

“Nah, it’s all stupid kid’s stuff,” the kid going through Gordon’s backpack said. “Although… there’s some sort of present in here… I bet that’s for you, huh?”

“Little freaks stick together,” one of the other kids said.

“Hey!” Gordon shouted from the river. “You can’t-” He cut himself off with a loud scream, and there was a loud splash. Benny whipped his head around quickly, just in time to see Gordon go under as he was knocked unconscious when his head slammed into a large rock.

“Holy shit!” One of the older kids yelled, but Benny was jumping into the river again before any of them could say anything else. He swam as fast as he could, thankful that the dirt in the water didn’t sting his eyes as he tracked Gordon. The two of them had had a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest one time, and, although Benny wasn’t sure if that would apply while Gordon was unconscious, he was still counting the second. When he realized that he wasn’t going to make it to Gordon before he’d run out of breath, he surfaced from the water.

Only to take a big gulp of air and dive to the very bottom of the river.

As soon as his hand touched the dirt below him, he let out his breath in a loud scream, and the water around him began to part. Soon, he was lying flat against the dirt that made up the riverbed, since the water was rising up above him to make a path to where Gordon was. He was still unconscious, but he wasn’t floating along anymore, laying on the dirt that Benny had cleared the water from. He quickly hopped to his feet and raced to Gordon. He picked him up, taking note of the fact that he was breathing, before he started racing for the shore where they’d come from. The water began to cascade back into place behind him, and his breathing became heavy as he tried to keep it up for longer than he ever had before. He used the final push of the water falling into place to get himself onto the shore again.

He stared up at the older kids, who were frozen in terror. “get help!” He shouted. They made various affirmative sounds, before they were stumbling over each other to get to Gordon’s house. Benny carefully set Gordon on the ground and looked him over. There was a small gash on his head that was bleeding a lot, but Benny reminded himself that head injuries bled more than normal ones did. That didn’t mean it wasn’t bad. Gordon’s breathing was evening out though, and he knew that he’d be okay. He heard shouting from down the street, and he realized it was more voices than just the older kids and Gordon’s mom.

His stomach sank all the way to his ankles, and he realized that today was the day.

He kissed Gordon’s forehead. “i’m sorry,” he whispered, “i’ll find you when we’re older. we’re gonna get married, i promise.” And then he was racing for his own house.

His mom was standing on the front porch, watching the neighborhood rushing down the street to where Benny normally played when he got up to the porch. “What happened?” She asked, but Benny was already pushing her inside.

“they’re coming,” he said. “i have to hide. _you_ have to hide.” He made it inside after his mom, and locked the door behind them.

“Ally, what’s going on?” His mama asked as she came into the living room.

“they’re coming,” Benny repeated.

His mama paled, and quickly rushed him upstairs. He heard his mom rushing up behind them. “You have to hide,” his mama said.

“i know,” Benny said. He glanced around the upstairs, thinking of the hiding places he’d used when they all used to play hide and seek. “um… i shouldn’t hide in my room, that’s the first place they’ll look.”

“The closet in our room?” His mom suggested.

“my eyes glow,” Benny reminded her.

“You can keep them shut,” his mama said, “that way you won’t have to see them if… if…” She sobbed, and Benny turned to hug her. She knelt down to scoop him up, and his mom hugged the two of them as well. “They can’t take you away… they can’t…”

“i’m sorry, Mama,” Benny whispered, holding back sobs of his own. “i had to do it, Gordon was gonna die if i didn’t save him.”

“You did the right thing, then, baby,” his mom said. She kissed the top of his head. “They shouldn’t…” she sobbed too, “they shouldn’t take you away at all, no matter what you did.”

“We love you so much,” his mama said. She kissed his forehead and squeezed him tightly. “We love you more than anything in the world.”

“to my planet and back?” Benny asked.

“Of course,” his mom replied.

There was a loud knock at the door, and Benny was practically dropped in his mama’s haste to go to it. He raced towards the closet in his moms’ room, his mom right behind him. She shut the two of them in, and held him tightly when they curled up in the corner of the closet. “Mama didn’t go to answer it, did she?” Benny asked.

“No,” his mom whispered back, “I’m sure she went to try and barricade it.”

“do you think they’ll hurt her?” Benny asked. His mom didn’t reply.

The two of them held their breath as they listened to the knocking getting louder and louder, until there was the sound of splintering wood, and Benny’s mama screamed. His mom squeezed him tightly and took in a shaky breath. He squeezed her back as heavy footsteps went throughout the house. “I love you so much,” his mom whispered, barely more than a breath. Footsteps entered the room outside and Benny could’ve sworn that his vision went completely black. When he blinked, he could see again, and he was being held in the air by a man in a uniform. His mom was screaming in the background, but it was with anger instead of in pain.

“let me go!” He yelled, struggling in the man’s grip as much as he could. It was tight, almost painfully so. “LET ME GO!” He roared, and bit the man’s hand. It tasted nasty, like metal and blood, but the man let go of him with a loud shout. Benny hit the floor and took off running. It wasn’t long before another man in uniform picked him up, but he bit that man too. The third time he was picked up, it was by his mama, who held him tight to her chest as the large men encircled the two of them.

“I love you, sweetheart,” his mama whispered as he wiped away her tears for what he knew was going to be the final time. “Don’t forget that, don’t forget us.”

And then there was a pain in Benny’s arm, and his vision really did go black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Benny's (first) time at Black Mesa is about to begin!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's here,,,,,, he's at Black Mesa,,,,,,,  
> So! The biggest note about this chapter is that I've decided to try something with the way I write this fic! That being that Benrey's name and pronouns change over the course of the fic! I hope it isn't too hard to pick up, but for reference it uses it/its pronouns for this chapter, and for the ones in the foreseeable future! That's partially cuz of the scientists around it and partially because it wants to. Poor thing is going through a bit of an identity crisis...  
> Anyways! I hope you enjoy!!!

The ceiling was white. The walls were white. Everything was white.

Specimen B-xrn1 vaguely remembered a time before all the white around it when its mama told it that, in blizzards, people would get lost in something called a “whiteout”. That was when there was so much snow that you couldn’t see in front of you to know where you were. She had told it how to avoid them, but laughed when she said that it’d never need to know how, since they lived in New Mexico. It had smiled and told her that anything was possible, and she’d laughed harder and told it that it was right.

It sometimes wondered if it would ever have something like that happen to it while it was stuck in this room. It certainly felt like it was lost, like it had no idea where it was or how to get back home. It knew it was still in New Mexico, in some place called “Black Mesa”, but it didn’t know where that was. It did know that not all of it was white, but a lot of it was, and it sometimes wondered why they’d call it _Black_ Mesa if nothing here was really black.

“Are you going to cooperate today, or do we have to sedate you?”

Specimen B-xrn1 turned its head to look at the man in the lab coat that was standing in the doorway. He was one of the ones it was used to dealing with, and one of the more violent ones at that. It knew that he almost wanted to sedate it, just to see what would happen. As if they all hadn’t sedated it enough times. “i’m coming,” it said. It rolled out of bed, not bothering with catching itself as it did, and it, almost bonelessly, pulled itself into a standing position from where it had crumpled on the floor. “what’s on the agenda today, doc?”

“If you’re going to refer to me, at least have some respect,” the scientist said. It was a threat.

Specimen B-xrn1 sighed heavily. “what’s on the agenda today, _Dr. Redd_?”

“Much better.” Dr. Redd grabbed Specimen B-xrn1’s wrist tightly and began to drag it along the hallways. It was pretty sure that it not being detained in some way was against some sort of rule, but all the scientists knew that it had given up on escaping a long time ago. “If you have to know, we have another full body check, followed by another series of water tests, and then more food testing.”

“oh, nice,” the specimen mumbled to itself. The food tests were the only tests it ever went through that it liked. “then what?”

“Then you’re out of my hair so I can work on the things that _actually_ matter,” Dr. Redd growled.

“you must be fun at parties,” the specimen said. Dr. Redd squeezed its wrist tightly, and it hissed in pain, but didn’t react beyond that.

The “full body checks” were really just putting it under and running full body X-Rays. It didn’t know if its body was supposed to have as many as they gave it, but it had been four years now, and it hadn’t died yet. It was just glad that it never remembered being strapped down to the table and the various machines whizzing around it. The water tests weren’t as bad, but they weren’t great. It had to drink salt water that day, something it wasn’t fond of, but could do. They submerged it for ten minutes that day, and its vision started to go black around the outsides by the end, but it didn’t slip fully into sleep. They gave it a small break after that, mostly to get it dry, but it would take whatever it could get.

Next was the food test, and it couldn’t have been more excited.

“You remember how this works, right, Specimen B-xrn1?” A scientist said over the intercom. It nodded and sat still in the chair they’d put it in. It had learned its lesson the first time it had tried to jump out of the chair before it was told. “Very good.” It sat still as it waited for the table that was rising from the floor to finish its ascent. It sat as patiently as it could, before the scientist over the intercom just barely got the word “go,” out.

And then it was tearing its way across the room and wolfing the food down.

It had overheard one of the scientists once say that these tests were supposed to see what foods it could or couldn’t eat, and if it preferred any of them. But there was one variable that the scientists didn’t know about, and it was the fact that the specimen missed normal food. It was given something that was basically protein mush every day that it didn’t have a food test, and it would gobble up anything even remotely human grade it could get its hands on. They’d never learn that sea food was its favorite, because it was so hungry, not just for food but for some sort of normalcy, that it would eat the first thing in front of it. Although they had at least learnt that it didn’t have any allergies.

The food was gone in record time, only lasting seven minutes this test despite the fact that the entire table had been filled and stacked. Specimen B-xrn1 sat in the chair again, and grinned up at the camera observing it from the right corner of the ceiling. It knew that its fangs would scare the scientists, even if it only had them when it chose to.

It wasn’t allowed a second round of food tests that day.

It was shoved back into its white room, and went to lay down on the bed again. It was really more of a cot than anything else, but it was all it had. It stared up at the white ceiling again, laying flat on its back. It would occasionally reach up and grasp hopelessly at the ceiling, like it could somehow reach it. It knew better than anyone else that it couldn’t.

It wasn’t sure how long it lay there, but it noticed something different after a long while. It heard voices on the other side of its door. Specifically voices arguing. It tooned into the conversation as best as it could without moving, which was actually quite well.

“Why the hell do I have to do this?!?” It didn’t recognize that voice, but it was sharp and angry.

“Because if you don’t, we’ll get you off probation,” a more familiar voice said back. Specimen-Bxrn1 shrunk into the corner of its cot when it realized it was the head of the xenobiology department. “Am I clear?”

“You can’t fucking do this!” The first voice said. “I signed a legal waiver that said-”

“We own you,” the head of the department said. The other voice went quiet. “Now shut up and get in there.”

The door to the room opened, and a tall scientist stepped in. Specimen B-xrn1 sat up a bit more when it realized that the head of the department wasn’t coming in after the scientist. He was holding its “food” for the evening, and it carefully got off its cot. They usually just slipped its “food” under the door, there was a slot there for a reason. “so… what are you going to do to me?” It asked, looking the scientist up and down.

“Well, I-” the scientist cut himself off when the door shut behind him. “Shit! Asshole!” He turned quickly, and Specimen B-xrn1 just barely caught its “food” in a nosedive when he dropped it. “Let me out of here, you fucker!”

“you don’t want to be here either, huh?” Specimen B-xrn1 said. The scientist was too busy yelling swears at the door and kicking it to pay attention to it. So it sat on the floor and stared at him until he calmed down enough to turn away from the door and back to it. “are you done?” It asked, unimpressed.

“Fuck you,” the scientist bit back.

“what are you gonna do to me?” Specimen B-xrn1 repeated.

“I don’t fucking know. I thought I was just gonna hand you that shit and walk out, but apparently not.” The scientist huffed, but he leaned down a little to look at the “food” the specimen was holding. “What the fuck is that?”

“you swear a lot,” the specimen commented.

“Okay, and…?” The scientist said. “You got a problem with it?”

“it’s just really harsh on my baby ears,” Specimen B-xrn1 said sarcastically. “i think they mash up almond, cream cheese, and oats to make this stuff. i dunno, though. it’s just protein mush.” He stuck a hand in to pull a glob of the mush out and shoved it into its mouth. “you wanna try some?” It asked the scientist, its mouth still full.

“No thanks,” the scientist replied. He looked Specimen B-xrn1 up and down again. “What are you?”

“they’re trying to figure it out,” it replied, still eating.

“You look human,” the scientist said.

“i am,” the specimen replied.

“Fucking pardon?” The scientist said.

Specimen B-xrn1 rolled its eyes dramatically and swallowed. “i plopped down on earth twelve years ago, and two nice ladies found me. they’re my moms. i lived with them for eight years, but you all kidnapped me and have been experimenting on me for four years. are you new or something? this is pretty common knowledge around here.” It shoved more mush in its mouth.

“So you’re an alien?” The scientist asked.

“technically. i guess. i dunno.” The specimen shrugged. “i call myself a human. i look like one, and i grew up as one. but those guys think i’m an alien. or… or i am actually one. i don’t know! are you gonna leave or not? i’m done!” It wasn’t, but it threw its half full bowl of mush at the scientist’s head. “will you get out of my room already?!?”

The door opened, and Specimen B-xrn1 shrunk off to the corner of its room as a different scientist and a security guard entered the room. The scientist who had been in the room with it ushered the other two out, already explaining something. The door shut behind him, and Specimen B-xrn1 was alone again. The bowl was still sitting by the door, but it knew that it shouldn’t eat the rest of the mush, or try to take the bowl. Someone would be back in a little while to get it. Instead, it just flopped on its cot and stared at the white ceiling again.

Honestly, at this point? It would take the snow blindness that came with the whiteouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points to anyone who can guess the scientist! (It's pretty obvious though aofnodsainf)

**Author's Note:**

> Benrey deserves two moms.... also, he's probably too old to be picked up like his moms like he is, but I'm not going for 100% accuracy here asofnsafdn


End file.
